a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
