dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
ugly people sure do ruin things
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
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