Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Randomize
