If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
