im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
