So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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