Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
