Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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