oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
