dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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