singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Randomize
