dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
