Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
