You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
