just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
So many bounce houses so little time
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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