If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
