O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
