so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
