I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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