I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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