2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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