Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
