just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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