I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You're a waste of cheezeits
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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