Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
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