I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
