I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
as a side note pls kill me
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
