lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
