There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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