If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
