Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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