Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
