Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
