whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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