Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
