i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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