she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
This toilet bowl is my home.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
