No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
