He kissed a someone with a penis
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
