you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
