Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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