when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
My bed smells like the plague
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
