two words: eviction party
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
