i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
