I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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