Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
My nipple is on Facebook.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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