The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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