How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
