i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I pour the whiskey from now on
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
