Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
